It Happened at Christmas
by Trapped in a MatchBox
Summary: Sequel to "A Helping Hand". It's Christmas and Kate receives some unexpected news while Rick's family is visiting.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I know I should be working on Someone Like You and Hiding my Heart, but this idea just wouldn't leave me alone. Guess I got attached to the "A Helping Hand" universe. This is a sequel to it and, while it's not strictly necessary to read "A Helping Hand" before this one, you'll understand what's going on here a lot better if you do. But it's up to you. **This story is set five months after Sam's funeral.** Hope you'll like it either way. Let me know?**

**Disclaimer: Castle is not mine.**

* * *

><p><strong>It Happened at Christmas<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

Snow was falling lightly over New York City when Detective Kate Beckett left her apartment that morning. It was December 19th and the Christmas spirit had taken over the city by storm with lights and decorations everywhere she looked. She remembered when she had walked into Rick's loft a few weeks ago and had been torn between amazed and shocked and a sudden need to laugh happily at the winter wonderland he had created there. She had always known he was a Christmas kind of guy, but for some reason this was the first time they were actually spending it together.

Now that she thought about it, she couldn't remember why they had never been around each other during the holidays. It seemed weird that they spent the past four years attached at the hip, but they never actually saw each other for Christmas or New Year's Eve. Then again, with the exception of 2011, one of them always had a significant other during the holidays every year since they had known each other, so maybe that was the reason for her lack of knowledge of Rick's exaggerated Christmas spirit.

She teased him about it, but deep down she loved it. This was going to be the first year she was going to actually celebrate Christmas since her mom died. Of course she spent Christmas with her dad (or working sometimes), but it wasn't the same without her mother and they never felt like celebrating much.

Now, as Kate stepped into the snow covered sidewalk, she could feel the excitement bubbling up inside of her when she saw the house across the street covered in lights. It was barely light out, but murderers didn't tend to keep a banker's schedule and she was already used to it. She had called him on her way out and couldn't help but smile at his groggy voice when he answered the phone. She hadn't seen him in a few days and missed him terribly. She had never thought she would be this kind of girl, but she actually missed him so much that it felt like a piece of her was gone. And it had only been a few days, she thought wryly, shaking her head at herself.

What could she say, she was really a girl in love and couldn't help this kind of reaction.

The drive to his loft was slow as the streets were slippery and snow continued to fall relentlessly in tiny flecks. Parking in front of his building, she immediately spotted him holding two cups of coffee. He started towards her and she watched as a corner of his lips tugged up in a smile when their eyes met and she felt her own smile slowly curving her lips up. He circled around the car and got in, closing the passenger door with a shiver. She couldn't blame him; the temperature had dropped significantly in the past twelve hours.

"Hi." He turned to her with a smile and handed her the warm cup of coffee. The smell was heavenly to her caffeine deprived senses and she took it from him, using her other hand to pull him in by the lapels of his thick wool coat for a kiss. His hand touched her cheek and she sighed into the kiss.

"Morning." She whispered when he trailed down to her jaw, brushing his lips lightly over her skin, eliciting goosebumps in its wake. She pulled him back up, crashing her lips to his again in a deep kiss, before resting her forehead on his. "I missed you." She admitted and laughed quietly when he kissed the tip of her nose.

"Missed you too, Kate. So much." He said gently and she smiled, pulling back to take a sip of her coffee, but didn't sever their connection as he quickly found her hand and threaded his fingers through hers. "I swear, this trip to LA felt endless."

"Did everything go okay?" She asked, placing her cup in the cup holder and starting the car. Pulling onto the slippery street again, she gave his hand one last squeeze, before pulling it back to focus on traffic.

"Yeah, they're well into Naked Heat and it looks like the movie will be ready to premiere in the summer." He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. She knew he was probably tired. He had flown in late last night and it was not even 6am yet. "But things look good. We closed a deal for the next two books."

"That's great, Rick." She beamed at him, happy for his success. He was currently working on the fifth Nikki Heat book and she wondered when the series would end as she was sure he wouldn't be writing about her forever, even if he had already stated that he would be more than willing to do so.

"Yeah. Guess you really are my good luck charm." He touched her thigh and gave it a teasing squeeze, leaving his hand there. Kate welcomed the touch. After not seeing him for almost a week, she craved his warm hands on her, in whatever capacity she could have it. She knew they still had a long day ahead of them before she could do all the wonderful things to him she wanted to. Right now, though, they still had a crime scene to get to.

"Glad to be of service." She threw a teasing smile in his direction and felt his hand squeezing her thigh once more. "Sorry to wake you up so early. You didn't have to come, you know?"

"Hey, you know me. I never pass up an opportunity to spend time with you." He winked at her and she rolled her eyes, an affectionate grin tugging at her lips. "Oh, by the way, do you think you can make it to the loft for dinner tomorrow night?"

"I guess so. It all depends on this case. Why?"

"Well, Aunt Margaret is coming down with the kids tomorrow. They're spending Christmas with us this year since… you know…" He trailed off and she touched the hand on her thigh comfortingly.

His cousin Sam had died this past summer and it was still painful for Rick to talk about it. Kate had met his Aunt Margaret – Sam's mother and Martha's sister – and his kids in July when they had driven up to Cape Cod for the funeral. Sam had left three kids behind and they now lived with their grandmother, since their mom had passed away a few years back. Kate had formed a bond with his oldest child, Julia, and had even come up to visit with Rick a couple of times since then.

"That's great that they're spending Christmas here. Maybe we can take the kids skating or something? Julia always says coming to New York was one of her dreams." She said, a little hesitant, not sure if she was overstepping. His smile told her a different story.

"She's going to love seeing New York with you." He lifted her hand up to his lips, placing a tender kiss to her skin. "So you'll come?"

"Of course." She replied, parking the car in front of a fancy building in the Upper West Side.

Uniforms had already secured the area and a young officer nodded at them when they made their way towards the entrance. Ryan and Esposito were probably up there and she hoped against hope this would be an open and shut case. It was too cold and she wanted nothing more than stay in with Rick, warming up in all the greatest ways possible. They took the elevator and Kate took that time to step into his arms and nuzzle against his neck, breathing him in.

God, she had really missed him.

He held her close, arms around her waist and kissed her chastely. They had rules – well she did, really – about public displays of affection while on the job. Nevertheless, the sixty second ride to the fifth floor was enough to quell her need for touching him for the next hour or so.

When they stepped out of the elevator, the hallway was bustling with activity. A yellow tape sealed the entrance to apartment 5A and Rick held it up for Kate to go under it, before doing the same, following her in. The body was sprawled in the living room floor, soaking a white Persian carpet with the victim's deep red blood. Whoever had done this to the poor woman had obviously been pretty pissed off at her, based on the eight gunshot wounds that had killed her.

"Hey, Lanie. What have we got?" Kate approached the medical examiner and crouched down beside her as she examined the victim.

"I'm still working on this one, haven't even checked the other vic yet, but I think cause of death here is pretty obvious." Lanie said and nodded at Rick with a smile. "Hey, Castle. Good to have you back."

"Yeah, man. Beckett here has been moping all week without you around." Esposito showed up behind them, nudging his shoulder playfully. Kate glared at him.

"I was not moping. I just wasn't feeling all that great, that's all." She narrowed her eyes at him, but the Hispanic detective only grinned at her knowingly. "Oh, shut up." She rolled her eyes at him and stood up. "What can you tell me, Detective Can't-mind-his-own-business?"

"Well," He chuckled at the slightly pissed off look in her eyes. "It looks like a murder-suicide. The neighbors heard gunshots and called the police. When they got here, both were already dead."

"It seems like this guy was really pissed off at her." Rick commented and Kate nodded.

"You can say that again. Used her as shooting practice, really." Lanie shook her head sadly. "Anyway, we should go check the other one. GSW to the head, right, Javi?" She asked, but he shook his head.

"He put a gun to his mouth. It's not pretty." The detective said and led them to the master suite.

Kate felt her stomach roll sickeningly and had to swallow hard to keep its contents down when she saw the body. She had seen her fair share of dead bodies, but this one was a little more grotesque than most. Taking a deep breath, she swallowed again, closing her eyes for a moment. A warm hand touching the small of her back startled her and she found Rick looking at her with concern.

"You okay?" He asked quietly, after Lanie had already followed Esposito into the room, and she nodded, brushing her hair away from her face.

"Yeah, I just…" She breathed in deeply again. "I just haven't been feeling all that great this past week, is all. Probably the flu or something. It's been going around."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, don't worry about me." She offered him a small smile, praying that her stomach would settle so she could do her job. "Lanie?"

"Looks like suicide, alright. But I'll have to take them to the morgue for a full exam." She stood up and turned back to Kate. "Hey, are you okay? You're looking a little green." Her friend's concerned eyes met hers inquiringly and Kate shook her head. Before she could say anything, though, an unexpected sound came through the door across the hallway. "Did you guys hear that?"

Kate didn't even let Lanie finish before she was crossing the hall towards the sound. The door was closed and Kate took her gun out just in case. If it was what she thought it was, then she hardly would need it, but she still needed to go in armed. Opening the door slowly, she allowed her eyes to sweep the room, her gaze falling on the crib on the left side, the early morning light shining through the window. A baby boy was standing on his toes, his little hands gripping the bars of his crib tightly as he cried fiercely. His lament tugged at her heart and she immediately holstered her weapon, crossing the room in three quick steps to meet the toddler. He didn't look any older than 18 months.

"Hey, little guy." She said quietly, a small smile as peace offering as she approached him. His cheeks were tinged pink and his bright blue eyes were shining as fat tears escaped them. "Hey, sweetie. You're okay." Reaching for him, she lifted his small body up and cradled him close to her chest. His cries toned down to occasional hiccups as he gripped the lapel of her coat tightly in his small, chubby hands.

"Is he alright? Is he hurt?" Rick asked quietly from behind her and she turned to look at him, holding the boy close.

"I don't think he's hurt. Just scared." She brushed her hand gently over the boy's dark hair and couldn't help but press a tender kiss to his temple. "We should get him out of here." She whispered and Rick nodded, guiding her out of the room with a hand on the small of her back. They met Lanie and Esposito at the door and nodded at them. "Can you try to locate his next of kin, Espo?" She asked and he nodded, looking at the little boy sadly. "Hey, where's Ryan?" She had just now noticed the younger detective's absence.

"He'll meet us at the station later. Jenny wasn't feeling well and she's due any day now." He explained and Kate nodded.

"Alright, let's get this show on the road." She said softly, looking down at the infant dozing off on her shoulder, a small smile playing on her lips. "Let's find someone to take care of you, little guy." She whispered to the boy and kissed his hair, the baby smell making her sigh with a longing she wasn't even aware she had in her.

"His name is Connor." Rick told her as they walked back into the living room and out of the apartment.

"How do you know?" She asked curiously, holding onto the boy with one arm and signing off quickly with her other hand. They were bringing him to the Precinct and she hoped someone would claim him.

"Saw a broken frame with his name on it on the floor in the hallway, just outside his room. Looks like it was hanging on his bedroom door." He explained, pushing the button to call the elevator. "I wonder what happened there." He commented, reaching out to run a finger gently over Connor's cheek.

"I just hope he didn't see anything." Kate sighed and entered the elevator, still holding on tightly to the sleeping boy. Having his warm little body cradled against hers was eliciting all sorts of feelings in her and she wasn't entirely sure what they meant. In fact, she wasn't even sure she wanted to know. Shaking her head at her thoughts, she looked up to find Rick smiling softly at her. "What?" She asked self-consciously. He shook his head, touching her chin to bring her lips up to meet his.

"You look good like this." He said quietly, nuzzling into her neck and Kate fought a shiver that desperately wanted to run through her body. "I love you." He whispered into her ear and stepped away when the doors opened, leaving her breathless and with so many emotions running through her heart and mind that she felt confused.

* * *

><p>Around noon, Rick announced he was hungry and volunteered to go buy them lunch. Normally, Kate would have gone with him, but she couldn't make Connor let go of her; the boy had taken refuge in her arms and, whenever she stepped away for more than a couple of minutes, he would scream bloody murder. On the other hand, Kate felt like she couldn't bring herself to leave him either, especially because they still hadn't found his next of kin. Apparently both sets of grandparents were dead and they were still trying to get ahold of his mother's sister, who lived in Texas.<p>

"Hey, Beckett?" She heard Ryan's voice and turned to him, prying Connor's fingers away from her hair with a chuckle.

"Yeah?" She asked as the little boy tugged on her hair again. "Connor." She tried to say sternly, but it came out softly. "No pulling, little guy, come on." He offered her a six tooth smile and she shook her head, holding onto him as she stood up and made her way to Ryan's desk.

"Look at you, all mama bear." The young detective teased and she rolled her eyes, grinning nonetheless. "Hey, little man." He tickled the boy's stomach and earned an excited laugh. "He's adorable."

"Is Jenny okay? I forgot to ask." Kate said, leaning against his desk, making Connor stand on her thighs.

"Yeah, it was a false alarm. But the doctor said it's any day now." He said with a small smile and Kate returned in kind. It was so good to see her friend so happy about his first baby. "Anyway, Richardson from Narcotics just called. One of their guys got shot last night and they need blood."

"Oh, so they want us to go give some blood?" She asked and Ryan nodded.

"Yeah, they're asking for AB negative, if possible. That's your blood type, right?" He questioned and she confirmed it, looking down at Connor, who was resting his head on her shoulder, playing lazily with her turtleneck. "Looks like the guy is in pretty bad shape and they need the blood right away."

"I'll do it, no problem. I just need someone to take care of him." She nodded towards the boy in her lap and Ryan grinned. "I think I might be coming down with something, though. Haven't been feeling great all week."

"Well, they do that pre-screening test, right? Just mention it when they take your blood for testing." Ryan shrugged and picked up Connor from her lap. "Hey, little dude." He said with a goofy smile. "I can look after him for a while."

"And it's good practice for you too, right, daddy?" She teased and he grinned happily with a nod. "Alright, you two behave. Any luck tracking down his Aunt?" She asked, walking back to her desk to grab her things.

"Not yet. Won't pick up the phone. Javi is still trying to find someone on the guy's side."

"Okay, keep trying. I'd hate to see him go into social services." She put on her coat and walked back to them. Connor was looking at her sadly. "Hey, buddy, don't look at me like that. I'll be back real soon, okay?" She pressed a kiss to his forehead and blew light raspberry on his cheek, making him giggle. "Hold down the fort." She told Ryan and made her way to the elevator. Hopefully she would be back before the boys cleaned out whatever Rick brought back for lunch.

Now that she thought about food, her stomach protested loudly, the nausea she had felt earlier all but gone. The drive to the NYU Hospital, where the Narcotics Detective was in, turned out taking longer than she expected. Snow had piled up a good two feet since earlier this morning and some of the streets were blocked or too slippery to drive faster than a freaking turtle. It was only thirty minutes later that Kate finally parked near the hospital and walked the rest of the way there.

Once inside, she asked at the reception where she was supposed to go to donate blood and a nurse took her to the second floor where she registered before being ushered into an office for a quick interview about her medical history. She mentioned feeling a little under the weather lately, but the doctor assured her that if anything came up in her blood test, they would let her know and her blood would only be made available after passing the screening test. They would rush hers because Detective Harper needed the type specific pretty badly.

After they took her blood, she sat in the waiting room to drink a glass of juice and eat a cookie that was being offered to donors. Just as she sat down, her phone rang.

"Beckett." She answered without looking at the caller's ID.

"I brought you lunch, but you skipped out on me." His voice brought a smile to her face and she chuckled, munching on a chocolate cookie.

"I'd hardly call donating blood as skipping out. What'd you get?" She asked curiously, her stomach protesting the lack of sustenance.

"Burger and fries at Remy's. Even got you a strawberry milkshake."

"Oh, don't let the boys eat everything. I'm starving." She nearly begged and he laughed on the other side.

"Don't worry, love. Your lunch is safe with me." He reassured her and she chuckled. "Hey, are you feeling better?" He asked and she could hear the concern in his voice.

"I am. Guess it was just something that I ate, I don't know. The nausea is gone, thank goodness." She bit on her bottom lip for a moment before continuing. "Hey, are you coming over tonight?"

"Why, Detective Beckett, did you miss me?" He asked teasingly and she rolled her eyes.

"You know I did."

"Are you going to seduce me?" He said huskily and, even though she knew he was teasing her, she couldn't help the shiver that ran deliciously through her in anticipation.

"You bet your ass I am, Mr. Castle." She said with a sultry tone to her voice and laughed quietly when she heard him take a deep breath. "So, are you coming over tonight or what?" She asked again.

"Oh, you can count me in, Detective." He said seriously and she laughed again. She had really, really missed him.

"Detective Beckett?" A nurse interrupted and Kate looked up at the young woman.

"Rick, let me call you back, okay?" She told him and tried to fight off the nervousness bubbling up inside of her as she hung up. "Yes, what is it?" She asked hesitantly and the nurse offered her a small smile.

"Dr. Lawrence wants to see you. If you'd please follow me?"

"Oh, is there something wrong with the test?" She asked, fear creeping up in her heart, making it slam forcibly against her rib cage.

"She'll let you know. Right through here." She directed her back into the doctor's office where they had taken her medical history earlier. Kate stepped in and closed the door, her hands shaking slightly.

"Detective Beckett, please take a seat." The young doctor smiled at her and Kate felt her shoulders sag a little in relief. If she was smiling, then it couldn't be anything bad, right? "So, we had a little surprise when we ran your blood test."

"What's wrong?" Kate asked and could hear her own voice shaking, despite trying to stay strong. What if it was something bad? Doctors were trained to break those kinds of news gently to the patients, weren't they? Oh, God.

"You know we run your blood for all kinds of things, right? Hepatitis, syphilis, HIV and all groups of antibodies that could possibly be found in your blood." She explained gently and Kate nodded. "When we tested you for Beta HCG, it came back positive." She said and Kate felt like all the oxygen had been ripped out of the room.

"Wait, you mean…" She started breathlessly, starting to feel a little faint.

"We still want to run it one more time to be sure, but it looks like you're pregnant, Detective."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So... thoughts?**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: You guys are awesome. Thank you so much for your support and amazing reviews. I'm so glad you're on board with me on this.**

**Disclaimer: Castle is not mine.**

* * *

><p><strong>It Happened at Christmas<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 2<strong>

_Pregnant._

The word kept swimming around in her brain and Kate tried to listen to what Dr. Lawrence was saying through the haze that taken over her mind. _Pregnant_. Oh, God, how could she have let this happen? She swallowed hard, trying to keep the tears that had welled up in her eyes at bay. She didn't even know why she wanted to cry; there were so many conflicting emotions running through her right then that she couldn't bring herself to focus on one and hold on to it. In fact, she was feeling a little faint, but maybe that was because she was…

She breathed in deeply and closed her eyes. She couldn't even bring herself to say the word.

"Detective Beckett?" She heard the young doctor's voice and her head snapped up at the sound. "Breathe, Kate." Dr. Lawrence said gently, opening a drawer on her desk, and offered Kate a Kleenex box.

Why was she offering her this, Kate wondered in a daze, her hand touching her cheek, only to find it wet.

_Oh_.

Reaching out, she took the offered paper tissues and dabbed it at her tear stained cheeks, her throat suddenly closing up as a desperate need to sob and cry her eyes out threatened to overcome her.

"How…" She started, but had to breathe deeply for a moment to get her voice under control. "I'm on the pill. I don't understand. How is that even possible?" The words came out fast in a harsh whisper in an attempt to keep her voice from shaking.

"Well, there is no contraceptive method that is 100 per cent effective, Kate. There is always a tiny margin that something like this could happen. Maybe you forgot to take your pill one day, maybe your dose wasn't strong enough… we can't really pin it down." The doctor offered her a sympathetic smile as Kate looked at her in shock. "We'll run the test again to be sure, but as of right now, you can't donate blood."

"I, uh… I have to get back to work and…" Kate closed her eyes, pressed her knuckles against them, trying to anchor herself to reality. "Should I wait here for the results?" She let out a breath and bit her lip.

God, this could _not_ be happening.

"Up to you. We can put a rush on it and if you can wait maybe an hour, I'll probably have the results back by then." Dr. Lawrence said and trudged through some folders at her desk, looking for something. "Here." She handed her a folder and Kate took it with shaking hands, the word pregnancy in the title making her heart ache. "Why don't you take a look at this while you wait?"

"I think I'll go for a walk." Kate swallowed hard again and stood up, putting the folder in her purse. "I'll come back in an hour, then."

* * *

><p>"I still don't have the results for you, girl." Lanie's laughing voice answered after only ringing once.<p>

Kate had called her as soon as she had stepped out of the hospital, needing to hold onto someone, have someone tell her what the hell she was supposed to do. Of course her first option had been Rick, but how could she drop this bomb on him like this? They had only been together for a few months and had never discussed the possibility of having kids. This thing between them was still so new and fragile that now, just thinking about the life changing news the doctor had given her, made her heart race and not in a good way.

What if this broke them? They were not ready for it. Not that she wasn't sure that he was the one for her; she was. She loved him with an intensity that scared her, but _this_? It was too big, too world shattering and if they couldn't work through it, it would end them. God, she didn't even know if he wanted another kid, not now with Alexis already grown up and in college. He most likely wouldn't want to go through everything again, especially not with a brand new relationship.

"Yeah, I know. I'm not calling about that, Lane." She said quietly and her friend was silent for a moment. "Are you too busy right now?"

"What happened, Kate?" Lanie asked with concern and Kate had to swallow hard again, brushing a stray tear away with the back of her hand.

"Can you meet me at that café a couple of blocks away from the precinct?" She asked, hoping her voice wasn't shaking so much.

"Pappaleco's?" Her friend questioned and Kate heard her moving around on the other side of the line, probably gathering her things to go out, and confirmed the name of the place. "I'll meet you there in ten. And Kate? Whatever it is, we'll figure it out, okay? Hang in there."

"Thanks, Lanie." She said, letting out a heavy sigh after hanging up.

Running a hand through her hair, she made her way to her car and unlocked it, throwing her purse in the passenger seat when she settled in behind the wheel. Pulling onto the street, she tried to run her options in her mind. If she was really pregnant, she didn't think she would have the courage to get rid of it. She remembered her mother telling her that she had been her third attempt at having a kid and that she had had two miscarriages before Kate was born. Maybe this was fate's funny way of giving her a chance to try this. Maybe this would be her only shot. If she deliberately got rid of it, maybe she wouldn't have another chance at being a mother and she didn't want to give that up.

She had always wanted to have a kid; she just wasn't planning on it now, especially with the kind of life she led with a dangerous job. That and the fact that the person who had ordered the hit on her over a year ago was still out there and she was still in danger. What if she did have this child and one day something happened and she didn't come home? She had gone through that kind of pain already and would never let her own child suffer through something like this, if she could help it. Then there was her relationship with Castle and how new and breakable it was. No, breakable wasn't the right word for it; it was fragile, really, and they had taken so long to get here, only to have it fall apart because of an unplanned pregnancy.

How was she going to tell him?

Shaking her head, she let her mind wander for a moment while she waited for the light to turn green. Involuntarily, her hand made its way to her lower abdomen and she gasped when she felt how much firmer it was already. How could she have not noticed? She hadn't missed a period either, had she? Now that she thought about it, she couldn't remember when had been the last time she had it. But if she had missed a period, she would've noticed something was wrong, right?

Man, this was so messed up, she thought, parking in front of the café, and hoped that none of the boys spotted her here when she was due in the hospital in less than an hour. Locking the car behind her, she entered the café and immediately spotted Lanie sitting at the corner booth, waiting for her. Stopping at the counter to order a cappuccino, she hesitated for a moment and changed it to a hot chocolate instead. She wasn't sure if she could have any caffeine and, _God, how was she supposed to survive nine months without coffee?_

Paying for her order, she made her way to where Lanie was, collapsing across from her, head in her hands. A headache was starting to make itself known as Kate massaged her temples slowly.

"Hey," She heard her friend say and looked up, finding concerned eyes watching her. "How are you doing?" She asked quietly and sighed.

"I was just at NYU Medical Center." She started and bit her lip, feeling her eyes stinging again. "I went there to donate blood to Harper from Narcotics. He got shot last night."

"I know, Javi told me." Lanie nodded and Kate took a deep, fortifying breath before continuing. Opening and closing her mouth a couple of times, she found herself unable to say the words and shook her head at herself. If she couldn't even bring herself to tell Lanie, how was she supposed to tell Rick about this? Reaching into her purse, she pulled out the pregnancy folder that Dr. Lawrence had given her and slid it across the table, watching as Lanie's eyes widened in surprise. "Oh, Kate." She breathed and took her hand, squeezing it comfortingly.

"I don't know what to do." Kate finally said in a small voice, the unshed tears obvious in her tone.

"Oh, sweetie, this is a good thing. Castle's is going to go through the roof." She said with a smile, but Kate shook her head vehemently, brushing a tear away with the back of her hand.

"It's too soon, Lanie. We've only been together for five months. This was not supposed to happen. We've always been so careful." Her voice came out in a frustrated whisper. "I'm on the pill. It never even crossed my mind that it wouldn't work."

"Hey, look at me." Lanie squeezed her hand again and Kate met her eyes. "You and Castle are the real thing, Kate. That man loves you so much and I _know_ that whatever you decide to do, he will support you no matter what."

"How am I supposed to tell him something like that? We never discussed having kids, I don't even know if he wants to have more kids. What if he doesn't?"

"Honey, I know it's scary now, but you know your boyfriend. You know he's going to be there for you, like he's always been. And, yes, maybe it was a little too soon, but you guys can totally make this work. I know it." Lanie reassured her and Kate bit her lip, accepting her hot chocolate when the waitress came by.

"I don't know if I'm ready to be a mom, Lane. I barely stay at home, I have a dangerous job…" she trailed off and took a sip of her hot drink. "And… what if I suck at it? I don't exactly have any experience with children. What if I screw it up?"

"You seemed to be doing just fine with Connor this morning." Lanie smiled at her and Kate rolled her eyes.

"That hardly proves anything." She said leaning back on her side of the booth and bit her lip, letting out a sigh. "Do you think I can do this?" She asked quietly, her voice betraying how vulnerable and scared she was feeling at the moment.

"Of course you can." Lanie grinned at her happily. "You're having a baby, Kate." Her friend beamed at her and Kate found herself smiling a little, her hand touching her belly again. "Do you know how far along you are?"

"Not yet. They're running a second test to be sure it was really positive." She hesitated for a moment. "But I've been feeling nauseous all week and I guess this explains it?"

"It does make sense, yes. When are you getting the results back?"

"I have to go back to the hospital in a few minutes. Dr. Lawrence said she'd rush it so I could have the confirmation faster." She explained, taking a large, comforting sip from her hot chocolate.

"Do you want me to go with you?"

"No, that's okay. They're going to notice you're gone and I don't want the boys wondering what's going on. I still have to figure out how to tell Rick about this. I'll swing by later?"

"You'd better. I want to know everything." Lanie stood up and Kate followed her, hot chocolate cup in hand. They walked out of the café and Lanie stopped her with a hand on her arm. "We're in this together, okay? Whatever you need…"

"I know, Lane. Thank you." Kate smiled gratefully at her and pulled her in for a quick hug, before making her way back to her car.

It was time to face the music.

* * *

><p>When she returned to the Precinct an hour later, Kate still didn't know how to feel about this whole thing. The positive pregnancy test in her purse seemed to weigh a ton and she had all kinds of pregnancy folders and a few vitamins Dr. Lawrence had given her to get her started. She was supposed to make an appointment with her gynecologist as soon as possible to start her pre-natal care.<p>

God, she really was having a baby. There was a tiny little life growing inside of her and it filled with joy and absolute dread at the same time. Her hand seemed to find her belly out of its own accord and she had to control herself not to do this around people.

"Hey, where have you been?" Rick immediately asked when she stepped out of the elevator at the Homicide department. He stood up and met her halfway, touching her arm gently. She knew he wanted to pull her in for a kiss, but they had rules about these sorts of things when they were at the Precinct. "I was worried about you. You never called me back." He said quietly and she shook her head, leaning in to press a quick kiss to his cheek, before walking past him and taking off her coat.

"Just had to take care of something. Where's everyone?" She asked, looking around and not seeing Ryan or Esposito. "Where's Connor?"

"They're in the break room. Connor's asleep. Little tyke passed out after we fed him." He guided her to the break room and she smiled at the scene she met. Her boys were talking quietly as Ryan held the sleeping toddler close to his chest. "They found his Aunt. She's flying in tomorrow morning to get him."

"Oh." She said, leaning against the doorsill, feeling surprisingly disappointed. What did she expect, really? Even if they hadn't found Connor's aunt, it wouldn't be like she'd be able to keep him. Besides, she had her own baby drama to worry about now. "Well, that's good, right?"

"Yeah. At least he still has some family left. Social services will take him for the night. We're just waiting for the social worker." He leaned against the doorsill across from her and offered a small smile. "Hey, you hungry? I saved your lunch from those hungry wolves over there." He said and her stomach made itself known, protesting loudly, making him laugh. "Guess you are. Come on, I'll put it in the microwave for you." He took her hand and led her into the break room. Normally she wouldn't allow this, but she needed it today; needed to feel his touch, his body close to hers.

"Hey, guys." She smiled at her boys and they waved back. Rick put her burger in the microwave and set the timer, only to have the sound of it wake Connor up. When Kate realized he was awake, she made her way to the couch where Ryan was sitting with him. "Hi, little man." She smiled softly at him and felt her heart skip a beat when he smiled that adorable six-tooth smile of his and reached out for her. She immediately sat down next to Ryan, scooping him up in her arms and held him close, leaning down to press a kiss to his hair. "How are you doing?" She asked him when he tugged on her hair, a happy smile still present on his beautiful little face. For a moment, she allowed herself to wonder if her child would be anything like him.

"You're really good with him, Beckett." Esposito commented with a grin and she offered her friend a small smile, breathing in Connor's baby smell, letting it soothe her troubled heart.

"I guess." She shrugged and chuckled quietly when she felt the little boy snuggling close to her chest, his eyes drooping.

Her hand touched her stomach again for a moment and she wondered if this was what being a mom felt like.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thoughts?**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: You guys rock my world. I am so glad you're all enjoying this and the sheer amount of alerts in only two days was a little overwhelming. Talk about pressure, right? But I really appreciate all your feedback here and on Tumblr. It only encourages me to be a better writer.**

**So, fun fact about this story: The way Kate found out she was pregnant actually happened to a friend of mine a couple of years ago. She is a nurse and she went to the hospital to give blood and they told her she was pregnant. By then, she was already 13-14 weeks along and it was quite a shock because she didn't have any pregnancy symptoms at all. Now she has the cutest little girl, but it was definitely a surprise back then.**

**Anyway, hope you enjoy this one.**

**Disclaimer: If Castle were mine, they would be making babies already.**

* * *

><p><strong>It Happened at Christmas<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 3<strong>

The next morning, Kate woke up even earlier than usual. The nausea pulled her out of the deep sleep she had been in and she rushed to the bathroom. When she got there, however, nothing came out and she stood in front of the mirror, breathing deeply in and out, willing with all her might that the rollercoaster going on in her stomach would stop. Looking at her reflection, she noticed that her breasts looked slightly bigger. She confirmed it by touching them tentatively and looked at herself in the mirror again, eyes wide in wonder, when she felt some definite tenderness upon touch.

This was really happening, wasn't it?

She turned to the side so she could see her profile. Lifting up her shirt, she touched her belly and, sure enough, there was already a small bump showing. How could she not have noticed any of this, she thought to herself, gently caressing her bump. It was barely there, but since she had always had a flat stomach, it was quite discernible now that she knew that she was, in fact, pregnant.

"Kate?"

She heard his sleepy voice calling her and immediately pulled down her shirt. She knew she had to tell him – and it had to be sooner rather than later – but she wasn't ready. She had no idea how to even bring up the subject. What was she supposed to do, just go "hey, Rick, guess what? I'm having your baby"?

Somehow she didn't think that would be the best approach.

"Yeah, I'll be right there." She called out, but heard him getting up anyway. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath.

"What are you doing up? It's too early." He appeared at the door and leaned against the doorsill, rubbing his eyes sleepily. Kate smiled at the scene. "You okay?" He asked, reaching out for her and she took his hand gratefully. Now that he had asked, she realized she was still a little nauseous, but it wasn't all that bad anymore. Maybe a glass of water and some saltine crackers would do the trick. That's what pregnant women did for morning sickness, right? Saltines? She didn't even know if she had any.

"Couldn't sleep, that's all." She gave him a small smile and let him pull her into his arms. "What time is it?" She asked quietly, nuzzling into his chest, before placing a soft kiss over his heart.

"Almost 5, I think. Let's go back to bed." He wrapped his arms around her and tugged her back into her room. Kate let him lead her back to bed, but stepped out of his arms for a moment when she remembered she needed to get a glass of water and check her pantry for saltines. "What is it?"

"I'm thirsty. I'll just go get some water real quick. You go back to bed and I'll be right behind you." She stood on her tiptoe to kiss his lips and smiled when he held onto her tighter. "I love you." She murmured against his lips and kissed him again with a bit more enthusiasm, to which he responded eagerly. With a protesting groan, he let her go after a couple of minutes. "Hold that thought. I'll be right back." She winked at him and left the room with a little more sway to her hips, knowing that he was watching intently.

To her surprise, she found that her nausea had lessened significantly after making out with him. Maybe that was the right kind of distraction she needed, she thought with a wicked smile, as she looked through the cupboard where she kept her grocery. Finding an unopened saltine crackers package at the very back of it, she pulled it out with a sigh of relief. Now that she had her remedy against this stupid morning sickness, she opened the fridge and took a bottle of water, pouring some into a tall glass.

She leaned against the counter and drank half of the water in large gulps, before opening the package and eating one the crackers. She munched on it experimentally and found that, while the nausea wasn't completely gone, the crackers did help settle her stomach a little bit. Eating another one thoughtfully, she caught herself gently caressing her new found baby bump. She wondered vaguely if Rick would notice. It was barely there and she had only noticed it after the doctor had confirmed she was really pregnant. So maybe the changes weren't that big yet.

Either way she had to tell him; and the sooner she did it, the better.

Just not now.

Right now, she was going to have her wicked way with him to start off the day on the right note.

* * *

><p>Today had been exhausting.<p>

Although Kate hadn't done much – it hadn't been a busy day by any means – she was still dragging her feet when she left the station with Rick a little after six. In a way, she felt a little ridiculous. Now that she knew there was definitely a little baby growing inside of her, she had started to actively have several pregnancy symptoms, which made her think maybe it was all in her head. The symptoms at least. The baby bump – her jeans already felt a little bit too tight – was very real and she was now permanently aware of it.

Connor's Aunt had flown in from Texas and stopped by the Precinct a little after lunch. The toddler had been put at a foster home for the night and the social worker had brought him back to his Aunt when she arrived. Piper Whitaker had cracked the case for them, saying that her sister had told her she and her husband had had a huge fight a few days ago and that he had found out that Connor wasn't his son. With the baby in her arms, the young woman brushed away her tears, saying that she had never thought it'd come to this, but she wasn't really surprised. Tim Conelly had always had a bad temper and she had never understood what her sister had seen in him.

Kate talked softly with her and after the interview was over, Piper let her hold Connor one more time, when the boy reached out to her from his Aunt's arms.

"Hi, sweetie. You're going home." She whispered to him, holding him up above her head. Connor giggled in delight and she brought him back down to press a kiss to his cheek. His bright blue eyes searched her face and he tugged on her hair like he had gotten so fond of doing in the past twenty-four hours. "Will you be good to your Aunt Piper? You have to be a good boy now, okay? Just like you were with us." She said quietly, knowing that both Piper and Rick were watching her. "I'm going to miss you a lot, little guy." She ran a hand through the boy's soft dark hair and breathed him in one last time before handing him back to his Aunt. "The social worker is waiting for you." She told the young woman, who nodded and thanked her again before leaving. When they disappeared behind the elevator's doors, Kate leaned against the wall and let out a sigh. Rick didn't say anything, just stood there next to her, their arms touching and that was all the comfort she needed.

Now, as they were on their way to the loft, Kate felt the weight of the day she had had yesterday and the emotional rollercoaster she had been in since her trip to the hospital. She had even let Rick drive and leaned her head back on the seat, closing her eyes for a moment. The next thing she knew, Rick was touching her hand gently and she realized they were already in front of his building.

"We don't have to do this tonight, you know." He said softly, tucking her hair behind her ear. "If you're too tired, you can come over tomorrow night or something. They'll be here until January 1st anyway." He gave her a way out, but she shook her head. He had told her that his Aunt Margaret had arrived earlier today with the kids and Kate really wanted to see them, especially Julia.

"No, I'm fine. I want to go." She gave him a reassuring smile and pressed a kiss to his lips. "Stop worrying so much. I'm just tired, that's all."

"You said you've been feeling funny all week. Maybe you should go see a doctor?" He suggested and she had to bite the inside of cheek to keep from blurting out the truth.

This wasn't how she wanted to tell him, just because she was exhausted. She had done a lot of thinking today and decided that she would tell him on Christmas Eve. That way she still had a few days to prepare herself and it would be sort of a Christmas present for him. At least she hoped so. Everything she knew about him told her he would be happy about this new development in their lives, but there was still a teeny, tiny part of her that had doubts and kept imagining him walking away. Rationally, she knew he would never do that, but her overactive imagination seemed to have taken a mind of its own.

"I'm fine, Rick. I promise." She framed his stubbly cheeks and pulled him in for another kiss, this time deepening it for a moment. "Now, come on. Your family is waiting for us."

He followed her lead and stepped out of the car, handing her the keys before throwing an arm around her shoulders. It had stopped snowing, but the evidence was still everywhere, covering the city in white. When he opened the door to the loft, she immediately heard laughter coming from the living room and two little blond boys crossed her vision field as they ran to the kitchen.

"Mother, we're home." He called out and Kate saw a reddish blonde head pop up from the couch, a smile forming on her lips as soon as her eyes found Kate's.

"Kate, hi." The 12-year-old got up and ran to them, enveloping Kate in a hug. "I missed you." She said quietly and Kate smiled, leaning down to press a kiss to her hair.

"Missed you too, Jules." She said softly and Julia looked up at her with a smile. "You finally made it to New York, huh?" She wrapped an arm around the girl's shoulders and started to lead her into the living room.

"Hey, what about me? Am I just invisible now?" Rick protested and Kate rolled her eyes. She didn't even have to look back to know he was pouting like a 5-year-old. Julia giggled and let go of Kate, running back to him for a hug.

"Hi, Uncle Rick." She said with an innocent grin, to which Rick responded by repeating Kate's action and kissing her hair. "I missed you too, you know. No need to get jealous." She grinned again and Rick rolled his eyes.

"Sure, sure. You've abandoned me to the wolves," he gestured in the direction of the kitchen where his mother and Aunt were working on dinner. "_and_ you stole my girlfriend. How's that fair?" He pouted and Kate smacked his arm playfully.

"Oh, shut up, you big baby. You see me every single day. I haven't seen Julia in two whole months, right, Jules?" She turned to the girl, who nodded excitedly. "So we need some girl time to catch up." She leaned in and kissed his cheek. "And I promise I'll make it up to you later." She winked at him when he breathed in sharply. "Come on." She stretched out her hand to Julia, who took it gladly, and led her to the couch. "Where are your brothers?"

"Hiding somewhere probably." She shrugged, then jumped, startled, when the twins jumped up from the couch in their direction. "Jesus, you guys!" She exclaimed, a hand to her chest. "What have I told you about scaring people?"

"Sorry, Julia." Matty and Peter looked down at the same time, with equally guilty expressions, and Kate had to bite her lip to keep from laughing. "Hi, Kate." Peter looked up again and smiled at her shyly, followed by his brother.

"Hi, boys." She smiled and crouched down to their level. "Where's my kiss?" She asked teasingly and both boys pecked her on the cheek with a giggle. "There you go. How are you guys doing?" She ruffled their hair and stood up.

"We're good. Play with us later?" Matty asked sweetly and Kate nodded. Those kids had her wrapped around their little fingers.

"You bet." She winked at them and they rewarded her with two bright smiles. She turned back to Julia and told her to go ahead and sit down. "I'm just going to go say hello to your grandma and Martha and then you can tell me everything I missed these past couple of months, okay?"

After Julia nodded, Kate made her way to the kitchen, where she was received enthusiastically by the two sisters. Ever since they had first gone to Cape Cod together for Sam's funeral, Kate had bonded with this family in a way that she had never done before. Julia, especially, had taken a special place in her heart, and in the five months since they had met, Rick and Kate drove up to the Cape once a month, if they could. The past couple of months had been incredibly busy, though, and they hadn't had time. Now that they were here, she realized how much she had missed spending time with them.

Without noticing, she had found a whole new family and it was all because of Rick. And she loved him even more for it.

* * *

><p>"So when's Alexis supposed to get here?" Kate asked with a yawn, exiting the bathroom in sweats and an old t-shirt of Rick's.<p>

"Tomorrow afternoon. She's driving in with a couple of friends." Rick told her, stretching his arms above his head and made his way to the bathroom. "Maybe we could take everyone out for pizza or something tomorrow night if you're up to it?" He suggested from the bathroom door and Kate nodded, letting herself fall back on his bed.

Now that she had relaxed, exhaustion was finally catching up with her and she could barely keep her eyes open. They had spent a nice night with Margaret and the kids and Kate made the effort to spend time with Julia and play with the twins for a little while. She had missed Alexis tonight and she knew Rick had felt his daughter's absence deeply as well. The family wasn't complete and she was looking forward to seeing Alexis tomorrow. She had started at Cornell in August and had been home only a few times in the past four months.

Turning onto her side, she wondered how the red head was going to take the news that her father was having another baby. That, of course, if Rick reacted well to the fact in the first place. God, why did this have to be so complicated, she thought to herself, and closed her eyes, letting out a sigh. She must have dozed off because when she opened her eyes again, the room was dark and she felt Rick getting into bed with her. He scooted up close and wrapped an arm around her, pulling her back flush against his chest. His hand caressed her hip and drifted down to her stomach. Kate held her breath, not sure if he would notice anything different, but relaxed when he kissed her neck and burrowed his face into her hair.

"Night, Kate." He whispered and she covered her hand with his. "Love you."

"Love you too." She yawned again and relaxed further into his arms.

With the warmth of his hand over her tiny baby bump, she finally succumbed to sleep.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thoughts?**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Again, thank you so much for your feedback. Your thoughtful, detailed reviews always make my day.**

**Disclaimer: Castle is not mine.**

* * *

><p><strong>It Happened at Christmas<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 4<strong>

Alexis arrived the next afternoon. It was a Friday, December 21 and Rick had been texting Kate all day, telling her to come home right after she was done with paperwork. After all, if the world was going to end (and the Mayans and that movie said it was going to, he kept insisting), he wanted her by his side. She had rolled her eyes at his drama and told him she would try her best to be home in time to go out with them for pizza. Around three in the afternoon, she got a text from him, informing her Alexis had arrived and a photo of their smiling faces. She knew he missed his daughter terribly, especially because it was the first time the young redhead was away from home for so long. Even Kate, who had only started spending more time with Alexis after she started dating her father – and therefore only saw her in the summer before she left for college and then on Thanksgiving –, was looking forward to seeing the girl again.

Closing the file that she had been working on, she allowed her thoughts to wonder what his reaction was going to be when she told him she was pregnant. She had run every possible scenario in her head in the past two days and still couldn't decide what the best strategy was. And that, in itself, was a completely ridiculous thought because she shouldn't need to have a freaking strategy to tell her boyfriend she was having his baby after only being together for a few short months. Of course, the rational part of her mind kept insisting that they had been together for a lot longer than that, really, but Kate was still so afraid that this could break them.

At least she had come to terms about having a little human being growing inside of her and, now that she had discovered the wonders saltine crackers could do, she found herself daydreaming about what their baby was going to look like. She still felt her stomach rolling at the oddest things and the nausea was never really completely gone, but she was learning to deal with it. She had taken the time earlier today to call her gynecologist and make an appointment to see her on December 27th. She had been surprised that she had managed to even get an appointment this soon, but the secretary told her she could squeeze her in at 2pm. She hoped Rick would be able to make it; but of course she wouldn't know that until she told him. Honestly, she was starting to regret her decision to wait until Christmas to tell him because it was eating away at her. The suspense of not knowing how he was going to react was killing her.

Stretching her arms above her head, she found Ryan and Esposito looking at her curiously. She looked back at them, eyes questioning, and let her arms fall to her sides.

"What?" She asked, confused, one of her hands gently tugging her shirt down to cover the small patch of skin that had showed – and her small baby bump – when she was stretching. She had to be careful around them, at least until she told Rick about the baby. She knew her boys were curious and she didn't want them to piece things together before she had a chance to tell her boyfriend about this.

"You're awfully cheerful today." Esposito commented and she shrugged, rolling her eyes at him.

"So?"

"So Castle is not here. And you're usually pretty grumpy when he's not around these days, especially because you don't get your steady flow of caffeine." He continued and Kate bit her lip, trying to decide how she should play this.

"Guess it's just the holidays, you know?" She said casually, but Espo still looked at her like he was trying to decide whether she was hiding something or not. "You guys going to the party on Monday?"

"Sure. Lanie and I are, at least." He said and they turned to look at Ryan when the younger detective approached. "How about you, bro?"

"It all depends on the baby, really." He replied and Kate nodded. She knew Jenny was due sometime in the next week and the baby could come any day now. They had already had a false alarm a couple of days ago.

"How are you feeling, daddy?" She grinned at him playfully and he returned it, letting out a breath.

"Nervous." He confessed and they nodded their understanding. Kate could definitely relate; she still had months ahead of her until the baby came, but she was so incredibly scared that she was going to screw up and be a terrible mother.

"You guys are going to do great, bro." Espo patted his shoulder affectionately and Ryan nodded his thanks. "And you know we'll be here for babysitting whenever, right, Beckett?" He turned to her and Kate couldn't help but picture her with a big belly trying to take care of baby Ryan. Well, at least it would be practice for her, she thought with a small smile.

"Absolutely." She agreed and stood up to go to the break room to get a glass of water. The lack of caffeine was really taking a toll on her and she could already feel a headache coming on. "Anything I can bring you boys?" She nodded in the direction of the break room and they shook their heads. Nodding again, she started to make her way to the break room when suddenly she felt the world spinning so fast around her she had to hold on to one of the desks for balance.

"You okay there, Beckett?" She heard Ryan ask behind her as she tried to breathe in and out slowly, waiting for it to pass.

"Yeah, I just…" She took a deep breath and looked around quickly to find a chair she could sit on. "I just got dizzy all of a sudden, that's all." She swallowed hard and looked at Ryan gratefully when he carefully led her to a nearby chair. "Maybe I stood up too fast." Her voice sounded weak even to her own ears and she suddenly had a clear memory of her mother telling her a story about how she had fainted several times when she'd been pregnant with Kate.

Great, just what she needed.

She sat down and put her head between her knees, breathing in and out slowly. This needed to stop right now. How was she supposed to do her job like this?

"Hey, feeling better?" Espo asked gently when she sat up a couple of minutes later, the fog that had clouded her brain slowly disappearing. Ryan appeared with a glass of water and handed it to her. She nodded at Esposito, taking small sips, and leaned her head back, closing her eyes. "Do you want us to call Castle to come pick you up?"

"No, no, I'm fine." She protested, but her legs still felt weak when she tried to stand up again and she sat back down, defeated.

"Kate, let me call him. You don't need to be here if you're not feeling well." He insisted and she nodded, conceding. "And we'll deal with Gates, don't worry." He touched her shoulder and offered a small, supportive smile before walking back to his desk to retrieve his cell phone.

"Hanging in there?" Ryan pulled a chair and sat next to her when she nodded. "Have you seen a doctor about this? You haven't been feeling all that great for over a week now, right?"

"I don't need a doctor, Ryan. I'm fine, really." She gave him a small smile and closed her eyes again, willing this ridiculous weakness she was feeling to pass.

"You know," He started hesitantly and Kate turned back to him. He took a deep breath before continuing. "I know it's none of my business, but you're my friend and I'm worried, so I'm just going to say this." His words came out fast and he looked at her unsure. "Jenny felt exactly like this in the beginning of the pregnancy and… again, I know it's none of my business and you can tell me to shut up right now, but is there a possibility that you…" he spoke quietly and her eyes widened when she realized what he was asking and her breath caught in her throat and she knew right then there was no way she could deny this. "You are?" Ryan asked surprised and Kate shushed him, looking behind her to where Esposito was talking to Castle on the phone. "Really?" He insisted in an excited whisper and she bit her lip, nodding.

"I just found out a couple of days ago and I still haven't told Castle, so…" She whispered back, a certain urgency in her voice, but Ryan nodded, touching her hand.

"Sworn to secrecy here. Won't tell a soul. But this is _amazing_, Becks." He grinned happily at her and she found herself smiling back a little shyly. "Oh, Castle is going to be ecstatic about this, I'm sure."

"Yeah, well, I haven't told him yet. Still getting used to the idea, you know?" She sighed, somewhat relieved that she could talk to someone about this. Sure, Lanie knew, but she had been busy these past couple of days, so Kate hadn't stopped by.

"Oh, I know. Jenny and I were more than a little surprised when we found out about Ian. And hey," He gave her another happy smile. "They can totally be playmates." He said happily and Kate shook her head, smiling.

"Castle said he's on his way." Esposito walked back to them and Kate nodded at him gratefully. Those two were really the brothers she never had.

"Thanks, Espo."

"How are you feeling?" He asked, touching her shoulder again.

"Better. Guess I just stood up too fast, really. I'm not dizzy anymore." She gave him a reassuring smile and turned to look at Ryan, who was still looking at her happily. He really needed to hang out with Rick a little less. Her boyfriend's lack of subtlety was rubbing off on him. Also, she had to think how she was going to explain this to Rick because he was probably freaking out, if she knew him at all.

Standing up slowly, with Ryan supporting her, she let out a relieved sigh when the world didn't spin in front of her eyes anymore. Nodding at him to reassure her friend that she was okay, she made her way back to her desk, sitting back down on her chair to get her things in order for when Rick arrived. As she turned off the computer, she thought that maybe she wouldn't be able to wait until Christmas to tell him about the baby. There was no way he was going to let this go until she went to a doctor and she couldn't bring herself to keep lying to him.

Fifteen minutes later, she heard the ping of the elevator and turned around to find Rick walking towards her quickly. When he reached her, he leaned down and pressed a lingering kiss to her cheek, apparently not caring about their Precinct rules. She let him do it; after all, she needed it too and the fact that he was here now already made her feel better.

"What happened?" He asked, concerned, sitting down on his chair, and took her hand in his. Yup, complete disregard to their no PDA at work rule, she thought, amused.

"I got dizzy when I stood up to go the break room. But I'm fine now." She squeezed his hand, trying to reassure him, but he still looked at her with concern. "I'm really okay, Rick, I promise." She held his gaze with hers and offered a small smile.

"Kate," He sighed and caressed the back of her hand with his thumb. "This is not normal and you know it. Why don't you go see a doctor? I'll go with you, if you want." He said gently, but she shook her head. "I just want you to get better, love. You're starting to worry me." He was so sincere that she knew this was it; she couldn't keep this from him anymore.

"Come on." She stood up slowly, glad that the dizziness seemed to have deserted her for the moment, and tugged on his hand to pull him up. He looked at her questioningly. "Let's go for a walk."

"Are you sure? What if you get dizzy again?" He asked, unsure and she tugged on his hand again.

"You'll be there with me, so it's okay." She offered him a small smile and he stood up with her, grabbing her coat and holding it out for her put her arms through it. After she buttoned her coat, Kate grabbed her scarf and wrapped it around her neck. "Let's go." She said quietly and waved goodbye at the boys, who had been watching them since Rick had arrived.

The elevator ride was quiet and Kate used that time to lean against his side, sighing contently when he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer, pressing a kiss to her temple. Stepping out of the elevator, Kate took hold of his hand again, threading her fingers through his as she led him out of the precinct. The cold wind nearly took her breath away, but she braved through, watching the snow banks that had formed on the sidewalk during the night. It had stopped snowing and a timid sun was trying to make its way through the clouds as it rushed to meet the horizon. It would be dark soon and the temperature had already dropped significantly.

They walked in silence for a couple of blocks. Kate was trying to find the courage to just come out and say it, but the butterflies in her stomach and her useless tongue kept her mouth shut for the better part of ten minutes. He didn't push her; he seemed to know she had something to tell him and was waiting until she was ready to do it.

"Okay," She let out a breath, forming a puff of white in front of her, and bit her lip. He squeezed her hand encouragingly and she took another deep breath. "I have to tell you something and I don't really know how to do it, so I'm just going to say it." She looked at him, uncertainty obvious in her eyes, but he nodded and brought her hand to his lips. "Rick," she started, but found herself unable to continue. She ran a hand through her hair nervously. "God, I had no idea this was going to be so hard." She let out a nervous chuckle and he stopped them in the middle of the sidewalk to cradle her cheeks in his hands.

"Kate, whatever it is, you can tell me. You know you can tell me anything." He reassured her, leaning in to place a lingering kiss on her lips. She tried to draw some strength from his touch and nodded, closing her eyes for a moment. Taking a deep breath, she decided that this would be like ripping off a Band-Aid; the faster you do it, the better.

She could do this.

"I'm pregnant."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So, the secret is out. Please don't hurt me because of the cliffhanger? And don't forget to tell me what you think!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: You guys are so awesome. Even when you're threatening to kill me. I had a blast reading all your reviews.**

**Disclaimer: Castle is not mine.**

* * *

><p><strong>It Happened at Christmas<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 5<strong>

He stared at her in shock for the longest time. Or maybe it was only a minute, but it felt like an eternity as snow started to drift slowly and silently around them. She could almost hear her blood rushing through her veins as her heart beat wildly out of control in her chest, waiting for him to say something, anything. Biting on her lip, she tried taking a deep breath, but it came out shakily and she felt a tear escape her eyes. She brushed it away quickly and looked down, not being able to face him anymore. His lack of reaction was probably the one scenario she hadn't thought of and now it was killing her.

Another tear escaped and she brushed it away again, biting on her lip with so much force to keep a sob in that she was sure she was going to draw blood. And then finally, _finally_, she felt his touch as his trembling hand caressed her chin before making her meet his eyes. He tried to speak, but it seemed like – for the first time – words failed him.

"You're pregnant?" He finally managed to snap out of his trance and his voice was soft and cautious and shocked and his hands travelled up to touch her cheeks, then down her shoulders, arms, sides; it seemed like he was taking inventory of her body and she let him because she didn't know what to do. "How?" He asked in a whisper, the shock still lingering in his eyes and she still wasn't sure if this was a good reaction or a bad one.

"The pill didn't work. I don't know." She said in a small, defeated voice and looked down again, unwilling to face him until she had a clearer answer. She knew it was the coward's way out, but she didn't care. This was entirely too hard. Harder than she thought it would be.

"When did you find out?" He asked softly, his hands still on an exploratory mission of her body until he finally found her hands and threaded his fingers through hers.

"Couple of days ago." She said quietly and bit her lip again nervously.

"So when you were sick this week… It was morning sickness?"

"Yes." Her voice shook and she closed her eyes, biting harder on her lip. She was not going to cry.

"And just now, when you felt dizzy?" He insisted and she nodded, her eyes still closed until she felt him placing a kiss to the back of her hand. "Kate," He murmured, leaning his forehead against hers. "We're having a baby?" His voice now had a tone of joy and wonder and, yes, still a little bit of shock, but only then Kate finally allowed herself to meet his eyes.

"Yes." She nodded and cursed her jumbled hormones and all these feelings that had turned her into this crying mess when another tear escaped the corner of her eye.

And then suddenly he was all around her and her entire world consisted of the way he felt pressed against her, his arms holding her tightly in a bone crushing hug and she didn't even care that the snow was coming down harder now or that they were still standing in the middle of a busy New York City sidewalk. Because now she could finally breathe and if the way he was peppering kisses on her cheek and nose and eyes and lips in the softest of touches was any indication, then it looked like they were going to be okay.

"We're having a baby." He repeated and pulled away slightly to look at her and she met his eyes, awe and happiness and a little bit of confused shock staring back at her. "Wow, I…" He struggled to put his thoughts into words, deciding to kiss her instead. She wrapped her arms around his waist and sighed, relieved, into the kiss. "I don't even know what to say." He said when they broke apart.

"Trust me, I was in shock too." She chuckled, relief and joy washing over her because he seemed to be okay with it and her biggest fear had not come true.

"How'd you even find out?" He pulled away from her to let his hands wander on her sides, then finally touching her belly, a look of reverence all over his expression. It took her breath away.

"I was asked to donate blood, remember? A couple of days ago?" She covered his hand with hers and wondered if he could feel her baby bump though the thickness of her coat.

"Yeah, I remember that. The day we found Connor." He said quietly, meeting her eyes again, and she nodded.

"They do all sorts of tests before your blood can go to someone and when they did the Beta HCG one, it came back positive." She explained, the words flying out of her lips in top speed.

"Why didn't you just tell me right away? I could've helped you with the morning sickness or something, take care of you."

"I was in shock, Rick. I didn't even know what to think." She sighed heavily and leaned against him again, burrowing her face into his neck. "I was going to tell you on Christmas, but then I got dizzy in front of the boys and they called you so I knew I couldn't hide this from you anymore."

"Well, that was one hell of an early Christmas present." She felt his chuckle reverberate through his chest and into her and pressed a soft kiss to his neck. "I still can't even…" He let out a breath and tightened his hold on her. "We're having a baby, Kate. This is… wow."

"I know." She agreed and pulled away from him, taking his hand in hers and tugging on it for them to keep walking. The cold temperature was starting to get to her and she was getting hungry. She needed to get to his place and fast. "Are you okay with it?" She asked quietly, her insecurity barely disguised in her voice.

"Okay with it? Kate," He brought her hand to his lips again before letting it go to wrap an arm around her shoulders. "This is the best present you could've ever given me. I… I don't even know what to say right now. There's a little baby growing inside you that is part me and part you. I couldn't have asked for more, love." He promised and tugged her into his side, kissing her hair. "This is the best Christmas _ever_." He smiled so brightly at her with that boyish glint in his eyes that she couldn't help but smile back, reaching up to take the hand that was on her shoulder and tangle their fingers together.

Yeah, they were going to be okay.

* * *

><p>"So when are we telling people?" He asked her from his spot in his bed while he watched her get dressed. She was looking through the small selection of clothes she had in his closet and he could see her in her underwear, rummaging through a few shirts.<p>

They had come back to the loft after the big revelation, as Kate dubbed it in her head, and would be going out again soon for dinner with his family. Alexis and Martha had taken Aunt Margaret and the kids to Rockefeller Center to do some ice skating and now they were supposed to meet them there in about an hour. Kate had been feeling exhausted, though, so she took the chance to take a short nap while Rick wrote something feverishly in his laptop. The sound of the keys had slowly lulled her to sleep.

"I don't know." She came back into the room with a red cashmere sweater and a pair of jeans. "I have an appointment with my gynecologist on the 27th. Maybe we should wait at least until then?" She suggested and the truth was that she wanted to keep this between them for a little while longer. Give them time to get used to the idea of having a child together, being parents.

"You have to tell Gates, though, right? And Ryan and Esposito? I mean, you can't possibly chase down suspects like that, can you?" He turned over on his stomach and rested his head on his hand, elbow on the bed supporting the weight.

"Well, Ryan already knows and I have Christmas off, so I think we can hold off until the 27th to tell the rest." She slid into her jeans and sighed frustrated when she felt it was already tighter than usual. Looked like she was going to have to go shopping soon.

"Wait, Ryan knows? How does he know?" He questioned, surprised and Kate laughed.

"He figured it out when I got dizzy. He was the one who helped me so I didn't fall on my face." She put her sweater on and walked to the mirror, checking out her reflection. "And he's sworn to secrecy, so we don't have to worry about him." She met his eyes through the mirror and found him looking at her curiously. "What?"

"Turn to your side." He instructed and she did as he asked, looking at him confused. He cocked his head to the side and seemed to be analyzing her critically, narrowed eyes and all. "You're showing already." He proclaimed with a grin, seemingly proud of himself, and got out of bed, walking over to her.

"I know. It was the first thing I noticed. Did you see how tight these jeans are already?" She complained, but he only wrapped his arms around her waist from behind and lifted up her shirt. "But it's still really tiny." She breathed as his fingers ran gently over the small bump.

"You look so beautiful." He whispered in her ear, looking at their reflection in the mirror. "So gorgeous, Kate. Look at that." He spread his hand over her belly and she shivered at his touch. "I still can't believe there's a tiny human being growing inside you." He marveled, resting his chin on her shoulder.

"Neither can I." She rested her head back on his shoulder and sighed. "I freaked out, Rick. Really bad. I was a total mess when the doctor told me."

"I wish I could've been there with you." He kissed her neck, showering her skin with slow open mouth kisses that made her head spin and her toes curl.

"I didn't know what to do. Couldn't call you because I didn't even know what to think, let alone how to tell you. So I called Lanie." She told him, tilting her head to the side to give him more access. He pulled her closer to him, her back flush against his chest.

"What'd she say?" He asked, lifting up her shirt, his touch leaving a trail of fire on her skin, and she had to bite her lip to keep a groan from escaping.

"That I was being an idiot and that this was amazing and that you were going to go through the roof when I told you." She said quickly, gasping when he sucked on the spot behind her ear.

"Well, I always thought Dr. Parish was a very smart woman." He teased and she elbowed him in the stomach playfully. He laughed and turned her around immediately capturing her lips with his in a deep kiss.

"We're going to be late." She warned when he pulled her shirt over her head and threw it to the side. He shrugged and started working on getting her jeans off while she unbuttoned his shirt.

"I don't care." He smiled at her as he waited for her to step out of her jeans, the unbridled joy in his eyes making her heart light when he picked her up and carried her over to the bed. "We have a lot to celebrate."

* * *

><p>"We should get going."<p>

She heard him murmur against her stomach, but neither of them made any attempt to move. Stretching her body lazily, Kate smiled when she felt him press a kiss to her belly, his hand resting protectively over it, and ran her fingers through his hair.

"What time is it?" She asked with a yawn and found him resting his chin on her stomach to look at her. Touching his cheek lovingly, she bit her lip when he turned his head and pressed a kiss to her palm, before scooting up to grab his phone from the nightstand.

"Almost 7. We're so late." He burrowed his face into her neck and threw an arm around her stomach gently, nuzzling her skin. His hand drifted down to her bump again – it seemed to have become his favorite part of her body – and ran a hand experimentally over it. "I can't believe I didn't notice before. Look at that."

"I know." She breathed him in and kissed his forehead gently. "I can't believe _I_ didn't notice anything until I knew for sure I was pregnant."

"Yeah, well, it's not that big yet. Guess I'm just super aware of it now." He pressed his hand gently onto it. "And it's firmer too. I'm usually great with details, especially when it comes to your body." He wiggled his eyebrows at her suggestively and she hit the back of his head playfully. "But this passed by me completely." They were quiet for a moment as Kate gently ran her fingers through his hair. "So, Ryan knows. Lanie knows. Anyone else?" He asked, burrowing his face into her neck again and started placing butterfly kisses on her skin.

"No, just them." She gasped when he sucked on her pulse point, his tongue joining in on the fun. "Why?"

"Can I tell Alexis and Mother?" He pulled back to look at her and she leaned in to peck his lips.

"Do you mind if we wait until I can go to the doctor? I just…" She sighed and looked away. "I just want to be sure that everything is okay before I tell everyone, you know?"

"Hey," He touched her cheek and she looked back at him, finding him smiling at her softly. "Whatever you decide, I'm in. It's just a few more days. We can definitely wait." He kissed her again and just when he was pulling her on top of him – they were going to be _so_ late, Kate thought with a smile – her phone rang on the nightstand and she heard Rick groan against her neck. "Please don't let it be a body." He prayed and she chuckled, reaching out to grab her phone.

"Beckett." She answered and felt him continue to shower kisses to her neck and then slowly trailing down to her chest, making her sound a little breathless.

"Hey, you feeling better?" Esposito asked and she smiled at his concern. Rick started trailing down to her breasts and she had to (regretfully) push him away, otherwise she wouldn't be able to concentrate on what her friend was saying on the phone.

"Yeah, much better. What's up, Espo?" She felt him roll them over so she was lying on her back again and he could rest his head on her chest, his hand back to caressing her belly.

"We're on our way to the hospital. Jenny's in labor."

Looked like they were _really_ going to be late now.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thoughts? Did I make your teeth hurt? Tell me all about it.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: First of all, I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. Second, sorry about the ridiculous delay in getting this chapter out. This past week has just been insanely busy and I had absolutely no time at all to sit down and write. Hope you guys are still sticking with me. We only have one more chapter to go.**

**Disclaimer: Castle is not mine, although I did ask Santa to make it come true. **

* * *

><p><strong>It Happened at Christmas<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 6<strong>

It was only after 10pm that Kate left the hospital with Rick, Esposito and Lanie. After her fellow detective had called, they had rushed down to NYU Medical Center and, when they arrived, Jenny had already been taken to a delivery room with a very nervous Detective Kevin Ryan. It was funny, Rick had commented, how Ryan could stare down the barrel of a gun without blinking and now he was so incredibly nervous about watching his kid being born.

They didn't have to wait long until a very happy and relieved Ryan showed up in the waiting room with baby Ian in his arms. Kate felt her heart race looking at the newborn with all ten little fingers and ten little toes and absolutely perfect. She involuntarily touched her belly and met Ryan's eyes when he caught her slip with a knowing grin and a question in his eyes as his gaze shifted to Rick momentarily. She nodded, biting her lip and reached out to gently trace a finger over the baby boy's cheek.

"He's beautiful, bro." She heard Esposito say and tore her eyes away from the infant in her friend's arms to see the Hispanic detective patting Ryan's shoulder.

"He really is. Looks like Jenny, kind of." Rick told him and the new father smiled.

"Doesn't he? And he's so tiny." Ryan looked completely enamored with his son and Kate smiled, leaning back into Rick's chest when she felt his hand touch her hip.

"How's Jenny?" She asked as Rick's arm encircled her waist and came to rest at her barely there bump. She knew he was probably thinking that this was going to be him in a few months, so she touched his hand and gave it a light squeeze.

"She's great. Tired, obviously, but she's doing just fine." He sighed and looked down at his baby boy again, like he couldn't believe he was finally holding him. "There was a bit of a scare when the cord wrapped around his neck, but the doctors took care of it and here he is." He said happily and they chuckled at his excitement. "I should bring him back to Jenny, though. They let me bring him out here real quick to introduce him to you guys."

"Tell Jenny we said congratulations." Kate reached out and pulled her friend into a hug. "And I'm really proud of you. We all are." She told him and Esposito and Rick nodded their agreement.

"Thanks, Becks." He grinned at her and looked down at Ian again. "I'll see you guys later. Thank you so much for coming."

"We'll stop by tomorrow." Esposito told him and gave him a side hug. "Bye, baby Ian." He cooed at the newborn and Kate and Rick laughed as Ryan walked back into the room with his son.

Lanie showed up a few minutes later and they all headed out, deciding to catch a late dinner. Rick got a text from Alexis, saying they were still at the pizza place if they wanted to swing by. They took a detour to Rockefeller Center and twenty minutes later they finally made it to the pizzeria where Rick's family was waiting for them.

Pulling an extra table and a few extra chairs, they joined Martha, Alexis, Aunt Margaret and the kids. Peter was already out on Alexis' lap, but Matty immediately made himself comfortable on Kate's lap as soon as she sat down. It was no secret that he had a soft spot for Kate and she smiled at his tired form when he rested his head on her chest sleepily. She looked up and found Rick looking at her with longing and touched his thigh with a small grin. Julia sat on her left side and chatted excitedly about how Alexis had taught her some really cool moves at the ice skating rink and how Kate absolutely had to come with them next time.

"How about we go shopping tomorrow morning, Jules? I don't have to go to work until 3 so I was thinking maybe we could do some late minute Christmas shopping and then grab some lunch?" She suggested to the young girl, who agreed enthusiastically and turned to her grandmother for permission. Aunt Margaret nodded and looked at Kate gratefully, to which she shook her head with a smile.

At that moment, Kate wondered if the baby would be anything like Julia or Alexis if it turned out to be a girl. She hadn't had time to stop and think about which gender she preferred, but if she did have a daughter, she would try her hardest to have a close relationship like the one she had had with her mother and the special bond she was forming with both girls in Rick's family.

* * *

><p>"What's going on in that pretty little head of yours, Jules?" Kate asked as they braved a busy sidewalk of New York City. "You're so quiet today."<p>

It was Christmas Eve and it was only today that Kate finally managed to get off work and take Julia out. Although they had agreed to go shopping a couple of days before, she had been called in to a crime scene on the early hours of the 22nd and had had to cancel their plans. Fortunately it had been a fairly easy case and she and Esposito had managed to close it last night. So she picked up Julia this morning, challenging her to brave the crowd of last minute shoppers like herself to help her pick out Rick's and Alexis' present that she still hadn't had time to buy.

"It's nothing, Kate. I'm fine." The girl said quietly , brushing her strawberry blonde hair behind her ear. Kate looked down at her and watched her for a moment.

"You know, that's the oldest line in the book. You're not usually this quiet so I know something is up." She lifted an eyebrow and Julia sighed, looking down as they entered Macy's. "You can tell me anything, you know that." She elbowed her side playfully and Julia offered her a small smile in return.

"It's silly." She shrugged and shook her head, but gave in when Kate stopped her in the middle of the store and waited patiently. "I just miss my mom and dad, that's all." She shrugged again and Kate sighed sadly, feeling her heart ache for this little girl's grief – a painful reminder of her own.

"That's not silly, honey." She touched the girl's chin, making her look up at her. "I know how much it hurts and it's more than okay to miss them. Especially now, during the holidays. "

"Do you miss your mom?" She asked quietly, her voice wavering a bit.

"All the time. So much it hurts." She admitted and Julia nodded, looking down again, and discreetly brushed a tear away. "Oh, sweetie, it's okay to cry." She pulled Julia in for a hug and leaned down to press a kiss to her hair when the girl wrapped her arms around her waist.

"I just… It's Christmas, you know?" She looked up and Kate nodded, brushing her hair back. "Dad loved Christmas and we had all these traditions and now I don't get any of those anymore. And Peter and Matty probably won't even remember him or have any memories about the holidays with him and mom. And it just _sucks_, you know?" The muffled avalanche of words left Julia's lips as she spoke them with her head against Kate's chest. "I just don't understand why all these things happened to us. Why did we have to lose both our parents like this and _it's just not_ _fair_." The last part came out in an angry whisper and Kate bit her lip to keep from crying with the girl in her arms. She knew those painful feelings all too well and hated that someone as young as Julia had to go through something like this. "I just want my mom and dad."

"I know it's hard now, Jules. Trust me I do. The first Christmas without my mom sucked." She made Julia look up at her again and kissed her forehead. "But it will get easier with time. I promise you that."

"But it hurts so much and I think Matty and Peter are already forgetting about him. They don't remember mom at all, obviously, but I don't want them to forget about dad. I don't know what to do." She confessed and rested her head back on Kate's chest, sounding defeated.

"Well, all those traditions you told me about just now? You don't have to let them go. You can keep the memory of your Dad alive for them."

"How?"

"You can keep doing everything like you did with your Dad and it can be a way for your brothers to have a little part of him for the rest of their lives." She offered the girl a smile. "And from now on, we can create new memories as well."

"I guess you're right." Julia sighed and stepped away from Kate's arms. "Thanks, Kate."

"Hanging in there?" Kate asked, offering her hand. Julia took it and nodded, after taking a deep, fortifying breath. "Promise me something?"

"What?"

"Whenever it gets too hard or you just feel sad, come talk to me? You have my number and you know you can call me whenever you want." She felt Julia squeeze her hand and lean against her side as they started to make their way into the store. "And if I'm not around, promise me you'll talk to someone about it?"

"Deal." She promised and Kate nodded with a smile. "And Kate?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm really glad you're part of our family."

* * *

><p>Kate was exhausted by the time she walked into her apartment. She had dropped Julia off at the loft and drove back to her place to collect the rest of the presents. She was spending Christmas morning at the loft and had plans with her Dad in the afternoon. They usually went out for lunch and spent the rest of the day together, reminiscing. As the years passed and her father overcame his alcoholism, it got easier to talk about all the wonderful memories she had of her mom. She still missed her mother every single day and the pain was never really gone, but with time, it had gotten easier to focus on the good memories. Talking about them made her feel like her mom was still with them and she clung to that feeling with all she had.<p>

Dropping her keys on the coffee table, Kate made her way to the bathroom to enjoy a warm bath for a while, before she had to drive back to Rick's. They were having a big family dinner and she was spending the night there so they could open presents first thing in the morning. Shedding her clothes, she looked at her reflection in the mirror for a moment, her hand on her already beloved baby bump. Caressing it gently, she felt butterflies in her stomach when she tried to imagine what her baby was going to look like. Rick was already betting that it was going to be a girl, but Kate had a feeling that it wasn't. When she thought about the baby she involuntarily pictured a little boy, God knows why.

Either way, she would be ecstatic with whichever came to be, as long as it was healthy. With that thought in mind, she started to run her bath and took off her underwear when the tub was almost full. Before stepping into the warm water, however, something caught her eye and she felt her heart nearly stop and then gallop at an insane speed inside her chest. Trying to breathe in and out deeply to calm herself down, she searched through her clothes for her phone, her hands trembling when she finally pressed Rick's speed dial. He picked up at the fourth ring.

"Hey, love. Heard you and Julia had a great time." His cheerful voice greeted her ears and she pressed a hand to her chest, willing her heart to slow down.

"Rick." Her voice came out shakily and she closed her eyes biting on her lip forcefully.

"What's wrong?" His concern was immediate and felt her eyes well up and a tear slowly trail down her cheek.

"Rick, I'm bleeding."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thoughts?**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Again, I want to thank all of you for your amazing feedback. This has been an amazing ride.**

**Happy new year and I hope 2012 will be wonderful to all of us.**

* * *

><p><strong>It Happened at Christmas<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 7<strong>

Fear held his heart in a tight grip the entire way to Kate's apartment. As soon as she told him she was bleeding, he grabbed his coat, wallet and keys and rushed out the door. All he could think about was that this could not be happening. They could not be losing their child, not now when they were both so happy about being parents. Not now when things were going so incredibly well in their lives.

It would be okay, he kept repeating over and over in his mind. Kate was going to be okay and so was their baby. They had to. It couldn't end like this, he thought as he spotted the small package on the passenger seat. It was his first gift to their baby and he had been planning on giving it to Kate tomorrow morning, but now..

_No_, he chided himself. He could _not_ think like that. He was still going to give it to her because they were going to be okay.

He parked in front of Kate's building and slammed the car door behind him, rushing to the entrance doors as fast as he possibly could. The elevator seemed to take an eternity to get to the first floor, to the point that he just gave up and took the stairs, two, three steps at a time if he could. When he finally got to the fourth floor, he was out of breath, but he didn't stop until he reached her door and knocked. She opened it immediately, her eyes red-rimmed and smudged with her mascara. She collapsed in his arms, but didn't cry.

"Hey," He touched her cheek, brushing her hair behind her ear and she met his eyes. "We're going to be okay." He pressed his lips to hers, soothing both of them, before reaching behind her and closing her door. "You got everything you need?" She nodded and leaned heavily against him. "Alright, then, let's go."

They made their way to the elevator and Rick said a silent prayer as they stepped into it. The ride down was silent, as he ran his fingers up and down her arm in attempt to keep her calm. She only spoke when they were inside the car and he was pulling into traffic once again.

"I panicked." Her voice came out quietly and she leaned her head against the window. He reached out and took her hand in his, giving it a comforting squeeze. "I'm sorry."

"How bad is it?" He asked, his voice dripping with dread, as much as he tried to remain calm.

"It's not a lot, but it's still bleeding."

"Any cramps?"

"No, but still..." She turned to look at him and he felt her squeeze his hand tighter. "My mom had two miscarriages before she got pregnant with me. Same with her sister. I don't…" He heard her voice catch as she looked down and entwined his fingers through hers.

"Hey, look at me." He said gently and she met his eyes again. "Whatever happens, we're in this together, Kate. We're going to be okay. "

"I don't want to lose the baby." Her voice shook and he felt a knot closing his throat and tears welling up in his eyes.

"We're not. Positive thinking, remember?" They stopped at a red light and he brought her hand to his lips. "We're almost there."

Another ten minutes passed until they finally arrived at NYU Medical Center. Rick parked the car in the first open space he found and they rushed to the reception where they were greeted by a nurse. Kate was immediately rushed inside the emergency room and they put her on one of the exam rooms. Rick pulled a stool and sat next to her bed, taking her hand in his again.

"Did you tell everyone what was going on?" She turned her head to look at him and asked quietly while they waited for the doctor.

"No." He rested his elbow on the bed to her right and his head on his hand. "I didn't know what was going on. We still don't. I'll text Alexis soon to tell her where we are at least. Is that okay?"

"Of course it's okay." The bed was in an upright position, so Kate just leaned in to brush her lips against his, letting out a sigh. She seemed to be calmer now that they were in the hospital. "I'm so scared." She murmured after a minute and he touched her cheek, pressing his lips to hers again.

"So am I." He admitted and rested his forehead against hers. "But we're going to get through this. I know it."

"Miss Beckett?" They heard a female voice and pulled apart, looking at the door where the doctor, a woman who seemed to be in her late forties, was holding a chart. "Hi, I'm Doctor Bennett. I understand you're experiencing some bleeding."

"Yeah, I only noticed it when I got home about an hour ago." Kate explained; her voice sounded firm and calm but the grip she had on Rick's hand betrayed how nervous and scared she really was.

"Alright, and how was it?"

"Light, I think. Just spotting. I've got a pad on, but I haven't checked it since I got here." She said and turned to look at him, seeking reassurance. He pressed a kiss to her temple and whispered his love for her in her ear. "We came here as soon as I saw it." She added and they watched as Dr. Bennett wrote something on her chart. "Is it…" He looked back at Kate in time to see her bite down on her lip nervously. "Am I losing the baby?"

"We'll do a full exam to check it, okay?" Dr. Bennett went to the door for a moment and they heard her request a portable ultrasound to a nurse. She walked back into the room when a young nurse handed her the ultrasound. "Do you know your due date?" She asked, pulling a stool to Kate's left side as she prepared the machine.

"No, we only found out about it a few days ago. I have an appointment with my gynecologist on the 27th." Kate said and the doctor nodded and told her to lift up her shirt.

"This will be a little cold." She warned as she squirted gel onto Kate's abdomen. Rick held his breath and squeezed her hand when Dr. Bennett touched the device to Kate's skin. "Alright, let's see." She searched around for a moment, sliding the probe on her belly and Rick had to resist the urge to close his eyes in fear. "Oh, there it is." The doctor said suddenly with a somewhat cheerful voice. That could only mean good things, right?

"Is it okay?" He heard Kate ask and without even looking at her, he could tell she was crying. He touched his forehead to her temple and took a deep breath, before looking at the portable monitor the doctor was holding.

"It seems to be. But I want to do a full checkup to be sure. Oh, hey, listen to that." The doctor said with a gentle smile and Rick let out a breath in relief, emotion taking his breath away. He looked down at Kate and smiled at the awed look in her eyes.

"Is that the heartbeat?" He asked, his voice choked up.

"Sure is, nice and strong." Dr. Bennett smiled at them as he took a deep breath, trying to get his emotion under control. "It looks like you're eight weeks along, Miss Beckett." She explained and Kate nodded, squeezing his hand.

"Does that mean the baby is okay? I mean, with the heartbeat and everything?" She asked, insecure and Rick brought her hand to his lips once again.

"It's a good sign, yes. We'll run a blood test and I want to check your cervix, but everything seems to be okay for now."

Kate thanked her and the doctor called in a nurse to take her blood and right after that, she asked Kate to change into a hospital gown so they could do the exam. After a quick checkup, Dr. Bennett announced that everything was just fine, but they would take a look at the blood test and would likely keep her overnight for observation. They moved her into a room upstairs and while Kate got settled in, he stepped outside to call his daughter. Alexis picked up after only one ring, concern clear in her voice.

"No, pumpkin. Everything is okay now." He reassured her when she asked what had happened to Kate.

"Where are you guys?" She asked and she could hear her moving around on her side, the voices in the background sounding further and further and then silence. She probably went into the office.

"NYU Medical Center. She was bleeding." He closed his eyes and leaned against the wall just outside Kate's room. "We thought she was having a miscarriage." He told her quietly and heard his daughter gasp in surprise.

"Wait, she's _pregnant_?" She all but shrieked into the phone and Rick chuckled.

"She still is, thank god." He sighed looked around, watching doctors, nurses and patients walking past him in corridor. "They're going to keep her overnight to make sure everything is fine, but the doctor said the baby is okay."

"Oh, my God, Dad." She breathed and Rick nodded, even though he knew she couldn't see him.

"I know, honey. I know."

"Why didn't you tell us?" She asked and he could detect a hurt tone in her voice.

"She just found out a few days ago. I've known for only a couple of days, really. We were going to wait until her first appointment at the end of the week." He explained and let out a heavy breath. "We're not telling everyone just yet, especially not now. But she said we at least had to tell you guys after today."

"Can we go see her? I mean, it's Christmas Eve."

"I'll talk to her. Can you tell everyone we're okay and that it was just a scare?" He asked and she acquiesced. "Alright, I'll talk to you later."

"Dad, wait. What about the dinner party? Everyone is supposed to be here soon." She said and Rick let his head fall back against the wall, running a hand through his hair.

"Damn, I forgot about that. It's just supposed to be Lanie and Esposito, anyway. Tell them what happened and that we'll do it some other night." He decided and opened the door to Kate's room, offering a smile when she looked up at him.

"Alright. Love you, Dad."

"Love you too, pumpkin. I'll keep you posted."

He hung up and walked to Kate's side, pocketing his phone. She scooted over to her right and patted the bed for him to sit next to her. Taking off his shoes, he quickly hopped in and pulled the blanket over their legs, throwing an arm around her to pull her close to his side. Pressing a kiss to her head, he heard her sigh and snuggle closer, her arm encircling his stomach.

"Just a scare." She eventually said, breaking the silence. He looked down at her with a smile and nodded, his hand joining hers on her bump.

"Just a scare." He repeated her words and touched her chin to pull her in for a kiss. "Told you we were going to be okay." He brushed butterfly kisses on her cheeks, threading his fingers through hers, and she nodded.

"Did you hear his heart? It was so _strong_." She marveled and he chuckled with a nod. He had forgotten how amazing it was to hear your child's heartbeat for the very first time. Tears welled up in his eyes just thinking about it.

"His? Do you know something I don't?" He teased and she reached up, brushing away a stray tear that apparently had escaped from his eye. Leaning up, she kissed him slowly, just a soft brush of lips against lips with an overwhelming wave of emotion behind it.

"Just a feeling, I guess." She shrugged when they broke apart after a minute. "I was so scared, Rick. I didn't think I'd want a baby right now, but I really want this. Really, really want it." She rested her forehead on his and he could feel her breath on his skin.

"Me too, love. I'm so glad you're both okay." He confessed and she rested her head on his shoulder. "I don't ever want to go through something like this again." He whispered and felt her nod.

"We'll try to be good from now on." She smiled and caressed her bump again. They were silent for a few minutes.

"Marry me." He blurted out after a while and Kate turned to him with wide eyes. He hadn't meant for it to come out like this, but it was something that he'd been thinking about for a while now, even more so after she told him about the baby.

"What?" She gasped and he covered her hand with his.

"That didn't come out the way I wanted to." He frowned and she stared at him in shock.

"You can say that again." She quipped and he chuckled nervously. "Did you seriously just propose?"

"Yes?" He chanced a glance at her and found her biting on her lip, like he knew she always did when she was nervous or thinking or both. "It doesn't have to be right away. I mean, with the baby and everything, we've got our hands full. But maybe… after the baby is born?" She still didn't say anything and he started to get worried. "Or maybe you could just move in? So, you know, today doesn't happen again, or at least you won't be alone if it does?" Everything he said kept coming out as a question and he wanted to kick himself because this was so not how he had planned to propose to her. He didn't even have a ring, for Christ's sake. "Or we can just keep things like they are now if that's what…"

"Yes." She touched his lips, silencing him, and he stared at her in confusion. What was she saying yes to?

"Yes?" He asked and she grinned at him, nodding. "To which option?" He swallowed hard and closed his eyes, almost afraid to hear her answer. This had gone all wrong. She closed the distance between them and pressed her lips against his in a soft kiss.

"All of the above." She whispered against his lips and he felt a smile tugging his lips up.

"I don't even have a ring." He confessed and she laughed quietly, kissing him again.

"You can get me one later." She murmured and burrowed her face into the crook of his neck, her breath tickling his skin. He tightened his hold on her and kissed her forehead, the love he felt for her almost too much for him to bear.

"We're really getting married?" He whispered after a few minutes and felt Kate chuckle against his neck.

"Yes. Now shush. Baby and I want to take a nap." She mumbled and he chuckled, running his hand lightly over her baby bump. "I love you." He heard her say sleepily and smiled, reaching behind him to turn the light off.

"Love you too, Kate. Both of you." He told her, but only her steady breathing greeted him.

Closing his eyes and finally allowing himself to relax, he soon succumbed to sleep.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: There might be a companion/sequel to this in the near future. What can I say, I've become attached to this universe. If I do write it, it'll most likely be one-shot, though. Hope you guys liked it! Don't forget to tell me your thoughts on it.**


End file.
